DISC-FF

It's an addiction.
Doing it over and over again.
Even when you know it's not good for you.
You feel like you're on top of the world, a queen.
Making you feel worthy, if only for a while.
That you're at least good at something.
But everytime it's over, it leaves you feeling empty.
Hollow.
Shaking with anxiety.

Honestly.. I love to listen to Ed Sheeran. He has such good lyrics and a pretty decent beat. Though Reel Big Fish has good lyrics, I hate the further song itself. Lol.

Ed Sheeran - Drunk.

Should I? Should I?
Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again, I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love

I wanna hold your heart in both hands
Not watch it fizzle at the bottom of a Coke can
And I got no plans for the weekend, so should we speak then?
Keep it between friends
Though I know you'll never love me like you used to



Reel Big Fish - Drunk again.

Cause now I’m drunk again
The means to my end
And I’m scared of myself
Cause now it’s the same the faces and names
And I’m scared of myself again
Cause now it’s all the same the faces and the names
So go walk out the door you don’t believe me no more
And I’m scared of myself again

Jasmine wrote:It's an addiction.
Doing it over and over again.
Even when you know it's not good for you.
You feel like you're on top of the world, a queen.
Making you feel worthy, if only for a while.
That you're at least good at something.
But everytime it's over, it leaves you feeling empty.
Hollow.
Shaking with anxiety.

title it opening cases and you have my life

The emptiness.
Trying to feel something, desperatly grasping for emotions.
Use me, abuse me. Do whatever you can do to make me feel.
Betray me, hit me, make me scream.
Love me, touch me, make me shiver.
Talk to me, look at me, am I seen?
Just make me feel.
Whatever it is.

When we take off our masks.
We become vunerable infront of each other.
Our stories are so different to each others, even if it's hurting is, it's what's making us being able to breathe.

Without evil there wouldn't be a truth.
Arguments force us to action.
The smirking black cat.
Because if light didn't exist, I wouldn't fear the night.

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All the demons, dancing and smiling.
Pointing their fingers.
Crawling, creeping forward.
Hear they scream "We ant more"
And they are gonna get it.
Cause you never give up.
Looking down, don't you dare to look up.
All the demons, danxing and smiling.
Hear they scream
"Just a little more"

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To have options.
It's a blessing.
But it can cause a lot of pain.
To others and to yourself.
All you want is to be yourself, but you're scared to push people away.
Taking a chance with telling the truth, with risk of losing it all.
Or bite my lip, bide my time and play the role that I know so well.

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And then there's just some textfragments.
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What if I could be a chapter
A sentence
A word
In the book about your life


You had the ability to make me forget everything.
I remember that now.


Some people say I'm unfocused.
Some people say I'm absentminded.
I'd like to say my brain has wings.


Sometimes, they hug me so hard it feels like they think I would break if they let go.
Sometimes they are right.


My mirror is showing caricatures
That my brain is calling proof


When you're saying "yes" but you don't have a clue.
With a hope of a faster ending.


When you're uncertain if you're running to something
or from something.
It's hard to turn around or keep going.


Your face is never as clear
as when you lose it.

Nicotine and broken dreams.
Shallow breaths and tearfilled eyes.
I used to be a well functioning machine.
Hiding under a smile and meaningless lies.
A heart needs another heart in order to stay warm.
When i broke you in pieces i shattered too.
I feel like a small inflateable boat in a raging storm.
Who could ever love me the way that you do.
I've gotten holes and im starting to sink fast.
And while I release the anxiety the only way i can.
Makin scares on my body that a lifetime will last.
I play for the day that someone would understand.
One day i can maybe look back and smile.
Saying that life was harder than it seem.
I just want to disappear for a while.
Away from the pain, nicotine and broken dreams.

If you want me at my best.
You need to handle my worst.
But who would be able to stay
When the bubble bursts?
You want it all from me
The giggles and the smiles.
But can you handle the anxiety
Can you handle me telling lies?
There's always more than what meets the eye.
Beyond smiles lays pain and tears.
There's a part of me you'll never understand.
Can you handle my scars and fears?
Because at one point you're gonna have to.
If you want me at my best, what follows is the worst.
Hold me when I'm shaking, take away the blades.
Whisper in my ear, and I'll hold you when the situation is reversed.

Ed Sheeran - Mess

Oh I'm a mess right now
Inside out
Searching for a sweet surrender
But this is not the end
I can't work it out
How going through the motions
Going through us
And oh I've known it for the longest time
And all of my hopes
...


EDIT:
Why am I such a horrible friend?
What have I done to cause pain?
Why should I be the good friend and help you?
What have I done to make you feel better?
Why did I mess up?
What could I have done to fix it?
Why would you even want to be my friend?
What have I done...

It's you.

You mean everything to me...
You are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up.
You are my last thought in my head in the night before I go to bed.
You smile at me in my dreams.
When you feel sad, I feel sad.
And when I see your smile, I feel incredible.
Like there is no other thing around and all I can see is you.

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I, I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high